I'll look after you

Sounds of birds and frogs, here and there a mother who feels like singing to the commercials, my favourite song in the background, thoughts cruising through my head. An ordinary day. Fatigue is hitting me once again and yet I lie awake, thinking of the past years. So much time spent on ordinary, useless things and people. So many thoughts thought too often. But so much meaningful things happened during those years. I’ve gotten to know a new best friend S, ditched his friendship after a lie, became friends again after a very rocky road and still am. I lost the two greatest persons in the world, the ones who made me who I am today. I saw my best friend M loose her father, fall for my best friend T. I saw her spent most of her time with him until they broke-up. I fell for this boy, stopped falling for him, fell again, got up and so the story continues. I graduated, got lost and was found. In short: I realized time heals all wounds. I know, it’s the biggest cliché in the world but me and M are back to our freakish habits, saying things at the same time, reading each others minds, knowing that after 10 years very little can tear us apart. S and I got over this great issue. I appreciate the time I got to spend with my grandparents. I made up my mind on great matters in life, except one. So you can say that I got all whole and healed. But than there’s my other best friend H, wish I could say the same for her. I saw her change after this boy broke her heart and I’m still believing she’ll come back as the same girl she was before him. She has to become all whole and healed. If only she believed because I know many people believe in her.

S&M

'It' can be unselfish, in the sense of being benevolent and generous, without being selfless. I've proven that point. It's better to rip your heart apart at the seams and heal his than see him like this. Sounds logical right? I am a fucking masochist. Point final.

I'm not over and Elvis ain't dead

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about this constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker

Impatiently I'll await

So don't go worrying about me, it's not like I think about this constantly. So maybe I do but... Always ifs and buts, never sures and offcourses. Accept for one sure thing. My maternal instinct is blossoming inside me. And all this because of this guy on Sunday. A little guy that is. Curly hair, cute big eyes and a diaper butt. He took after his dad who was kinda gorgeous... I swear to God, so glad I didn't have a boyfriend at that moment or he would have to be forced to make me a baby ;) Two boys and one little girl please. And according to this magic thing a friend and I did a while back, I'll have my way! Just love it when things turn out the way they have to. Just getting impatient, I'd love to be between 26 and 28 right now. Skipping phases, jumping through hoops, sprinting through streets. Probably to realize at 26, I'd want to be 22 again.